Erin O’Connor

I was able to share the magic of my labour and birth with my daughter. She witnessed the pure strength and capability of women and how we can birth our babies.

I birthed my beautiful baby boy at home, surrounded by my loved ones, on 17th August 2023. 

I had dreamt of having a VBAC at home ever since my unplanned C section for the birth of my daughter, 5 years ago. Soon after, I began educating myself on all things birth, how women’s bodies were made to birth babies, and spent a lot of time envisioning birthing a second baby at home. 

Unfortunately, our journey to fall pregnant this time was long and difficult, but we were lucky enough to do so through our first round of IVF.  

When I fell pregnant, I found a lovely local midwife, Nicky, who I saw for some of my pre-natal appointments, but unfortunately, she was unable to support me for the birth at home. I got in contact with MAMA midwives when I was 16 weeks pregnant and was so happy to find that they had just started supporting women birthing in Gippsland. I booked an appointment with Midwife Elle, and right from the get go I was met with nothing but positivity and confidence in wanting to support me with my birth plan.  

Throughout my pregnancy, midwives Elle and Veronica were so encouraging, informative, and answered all my questions and queries with no judgement. They had no doubt that I could do this, and that helped with keeping my positive mindset.  

My labour began when I was 41 weeks exactly. Following an acupuncture appointment, I started feeling light cramping at about 2pm on Wednesday 16th August. Things slowly progressed, and by 10pm I decided to call Jan at MAMA. She was amazing to talk to, and suggested I try and get some rest to prepare for labour, but to be wary that when I lay down, the contractions may feel stronger. The first contraction that came while I was in bed was exactly that! I got up and went into my birthing room to listen to music and find positions that were comfortable - I found I couldn’t lay down at all during my labour. 

We had planned for my sister to be part of my birth support team, so I rang her at 1am and told her I needed her. She travelled 2 hours, arriving at 3am, and quietly sat with me through to the early hours of the morning.  

Morning came and I couldn’t believe I had been labouring all night. I remember hearing the rubbish truck come past the house, the early morning bird song, and the sun beginning to stream in the window through the side of the blind. 

At 7am my partner, Hart, and 5-year-old daughter, Nancy, woke up and came in to see me. Nancy was so excited to see that mum was finally going to have the baby.  

Midwives Elle and Veronica arrived at about 10.45am. They were so present and thorough throughout the whole labour, without being intrusive or overly in my space. 

Throughout the day I moved from the birthing room, to the shower, to the toilet trying all different positions to labour in. 

At about 3.30pm my waters broke onto the floor, to which Elle ran down the hallway with a big smile and said was that what I thought it was? We were all excited, myself especially as I never experienced that with my first labour. 

At about 4pm Hart had taken Nancy to my mum's place for a while, and that’s when my crisis of confidence came. I was waiting for it. I had a very big emotional release, for which all the women held space for and helped me through. I have such lovely memories of this. Feeling truly supported whilst I moved through all that I was feeling.  

At about 5.30pm, after I was unable to feel baby’s head internally by myself, I began feeling a bit frustrated and unsure of where I was in my labour. I asked the midwives to check and see how far along I was. They found that I was about 7-8cms dilated, but that I had a cervical lip. I found this hard to hear, as though it was a big hurdle I had to get over when I was feeling so tired, but Elle and Veronica were so encouraging and supported me with things we could try to help move things along. 

I hopped in the birthing pool at about 7pm - it took longer than expected to fill! I remember being in the warm water allowed me to relax more in between contractions and feel weightless. 

At about 8.25pm baby had finally descended into my birth canal. This stage was the most challenging for me. I had to dig deep and find all my power within to get through this last stage. I was so close to meeting my baby. I was squeezing my sister's hand, and Hart’s hand, and even found myself biting down on Hart’s arm at one point. 

After some vomiting, and in turn involuntary pushing with each purge, baby’s head was out, and he was born very soon after at 8.47pm.  

Veronica captured the moment, completely unnoticed, as I lifted my baby up out of the water. Upon looking back, the series of photos capture my emotions in that moment so perfectly. Elation, shock, joy, exhaustion, relief and so much happiness all at once. 

Nancy immediately got into the birthing pool with me, and after a few minutes we were reminded that we hadn’t yet checked if we had had a baby girl or boy. Our long-awaited baby was finally with us, and it was our sweet baby boy all along. We were all so happy. I remember feeling so overwhelmed with what my body and mind had just done, but holding my baby boy afterwards just filled me with so much love. 

Writing this, 9 months on, I still think about the whole experience often and I feel so proud and grateful to have experienced such an empowering birth. Being held by these people during the hardest and most magical thing I have even done is something I will be forever thankful for, and which still brings the warmest memories.  

My sister, Kate, who held me for almost every contraction and did not stop from the moment she arrived at 2am until Billy was born at 8.47pm. We have always had a close relationship, but experiencing birth together has taken it to a deeper level.  

My partner, Hart, whilst offering an arm for me to bite (and welcoming it) at the height of contractions, also allowed me to focus 100% on birthing our baby boy by making sure our daughter felt loved, safe and supported. She came in and out to me as she pleased throughout the day and night, and I took comfort in knowing she was being looked after and loved by her dad. 

Mama midwives Elle & Veronica, who had such a calming and supportive presence. Their encouragement and support was unwavering during the whole journey. I am so grateful for their help throughout my labour, cuddling my daughter when I couldn’t, cleaning up after the birth, and all the lovely home visits that followed after the birth.  

My daughter, Nancy, who whispered encouragement in my ear throughout the labour, placed her cold hands on my neck when I was feeling so hot, helped press the buttons on the tens machine, and hopped into the birthing pool with me the second after her brother was born. Her words of encouragement will stay with me forever: 

“You can do this mum” 

“Your body was made to do this this” 

“Thank you for working so hard to birth our baby” 

“I love you mum” 

Our journey to fall pregnant was a difficult one, but I often wonder if the blessing in this could be that I was able to share the magic of my labour and birth with my daughter at an age where she will remember and carry it with her. She witnessed the pure strength and capability of women and how we can birth our babies.  

Birth story by Erin O’Connor.