Maeve’s birth was profoundly healing, revealing my strength and fulfilling dreams I missed with Jude’s emergency C-section. The invincible feeling I had afterward sustained me through our postpartum journey, making that morning one of the most unforgettable and magical experiences of my life.

An unexpected HBAC (homebirth after caesarean) brought me my daughter and a birth more healing and magical than I could have ever hoped for.

I had always planned to come back home to Melbourne to birth my second child, calmed by the thought of the Australian healthcare system and how safe and supported I would feel in it compared to the US system. So it was quite a shock when I had my first hospital appointment on arrival back home at 35 weeks and immediately experienced resistance around fulfilling my wish to attempt a VBAC. Baby was breech, and had been for several weeks already, so that coupled with my age (almost 40), and a previous emergency cesarean quickly placed me in the ‘high risk’ category and labelled me as a ‘poor candidate’ for a VBAC.

It felt like I left the hospital crying and deflated after every single appointment and in those low moments I called MAMA. Jan and Margaret supported me with the birth of my son, Jude, 4 years ago and so it felt like being welcomed back with a warm hug when I reconnected with the midwives and allied health team at MAMA!! Millicent & Carla educated me and helped create space and the right environment for bub to turn and Lindsey & Marita were both reassuring and empowering all at the same time!! At 38 weeks baby was turned with a gentle ECV and I was once again hopeful that I would be able to try for the VBAC I so deeply longed for. Despite baby being head down at last, I was still being encouraged to book in for a caesarean by the hospital and it was then, after another appointment that ended in tears, that I decided I needed someone with me in hospital to help me advocate for myself. It was such a huge relief when Marita and the MAMA team were willing to take me on so late in my pregnancy.

I had my final day of work at 39+5 and came home feeling achey and really exhausted. Putting it down to a long day and crazy few weeks, I had an epsom salt bath, went to bed early and passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow. It was around midnight, when I woke with pretty severe stomach cramps and diarrhoea, which had me up and down to the bathroom for a few hours. It never occurred to me that it could be labour as I went 10 days over with Jude and my husband, Steve, was still in America. So in my mind I was nowhere near ready to give birth!! I FaceTime’d Steve at around 3am and we both decided that I must have gastro and after getting some rest overnight all would be well in the morning…

I tried to go back to bed a few times, but was so uncomfortable and didn’t want to wake Jude as we were sharing a room while staying with my parents, so I ended up moving to the living room. It was around 4am when I finally admitted to myself that I was in labour and focussed on getting into my zone and my mind around that fact that I would be doing this without Steve by my side. It was overwhelming but at the same time the next little while was so peaceful as I quietly laboured by myself in the dark and tried not to wake anyone else up.

As my contractions got closer together, I called the MAMA triage line and spoke with Veronica who let Marita know where I was at and also encouraged me to wake my parents up for some support. Despite being in complete shock over what was happening, my mum quickly got up and helped me get the TENs machine on. I then retreated once again to labouring on my own, feeling reassured that Marita would be with me before too long and constantly reminding myself that I was safe and all would be ok.

A few more hours of labouring later and I had got my hospital bag packed between contractions with the help of my mum and was resting on my parents bed when Marita arrived around 7:30am. I only had time to get the words “I’m so glad you’re here” out before I had the most explosive contraction and my waters broke everywhere!! Marita thought that baby was coming right then and there and so just about pulled me off the bed and got me kneeling by the side of the bed ready for action.

Things slowed down a bit after that rather sudden moment of excitement, but we didn’t know how long it was going to be before baby appeared and Marita told me quite frankly that she “doesn’t do car babies” so a home birth it would be!! Despite things veering so far away from how I imagined this birth would play out, I still felt quite in control, strong, and completely safe with Marita supporting me.

It ended up being another 90 minutes or so before our sweet daughter, Maeve, arrived and during that time I definitely had some serious moments of doubt and felt so so scared that something was going to be really wrong with her. It felt like my contractions were like waves rolling over me that I couldn’t quite catch and harness the energy of, and internally I was starting to panic thinking that it was all taking longer than it should. Marita sensed this and gave me a bit of a pep talk which somehow got me back into my zone and I started using visualisation to help as it came time to push. My mind jumped ahead to the moment when Jude, who was just next door watching Paddington, would meet his little brother or sister; to Steve arriving and holding his child; and to images of us as a family of four.

Those images, gentle support and guidance from Marita and Charlotte, squeezing my mum’s hand with everything I had, and a lot of noise brought Maeve into the world at 8:58am on the 1st of May, 2024!! The relief that washed over me when I held her to my chest and saw that she was ok is hard to put into words. So many weeks/months of worry and fighting to birth her the way I wanted to were over and she was here, healthy and safe.

A few minutes after she was born, we FaceTimed Steve to tell him that it was a girl and not gastro (!) and Jude joined us in the bedroom to serenade Maeve with “twinkle twinkle little star”. We were all together, sort of, at last!!

The intimacy and magic of Maeve’s birth healed me on so many levels. It showed me what I was capable of, despite facing so much resistance around having a VBAC during my pregnancy and it gifted me all that I had hoped for, but had been unable to experience during Jude’s emergency caesarean birth. The skin to skin time, golden hour feeding, delayed cord clamping, placenta tour (thanks Charlotte!) and the time & space to just rest together all felt so sacred and like such a gift. And the high of feeling completely invincible that filled me up after Maeve’s birth stayed with me for a long time; carrying me through the highs and lows of our postpartum period together. It was a morning that I will never forget and one of the most incredible experiences of my life!!

Birth story by Nadine Eram.